Time for Hospicre

I know that it's almost a month since my last posting, but no news was good news. I know that this posting will sound a little abrupt, but frankly I am still in such a state of shock that I don't have time to make it pretty, or warm, or anything like that.
After a number of doctor meetings,it turns out that my liver is too fragile to go on with the chemo I had been doing or try another variant. So we decidided on chemo break. Currently my liver is failing and hospice has been called in, which we expect to start n the next few days.
This is, of course, hearbreaking for us, and there are things that could make these end weeks or days easier for all three of us. First, weeping on the phone or in person makes it so much harder. If you could get that out of your system beforehand, it is so much easier for us. When you weep, I can't help but do the same, and it takes all the energy out of me. Second, I have one of the best breast oncologists in the world who I trust implicitly. Please don't tell me about the miracle guy in South America, or the third world vitamin or herbs. I can't deal with that and won't.
Also, PLEASE PLEASE let Alix go through things her way. She hates being pitied and would prefer a simple hug. She, too, is having to go through very difficult emotions that she would prefer not to talk about at all.
We do want to see folks and I can see people in short intervals - 15-20 minutes -- Albert is keeping track of my calendar. Sorry if this sounds so demanding but this is the hardest process I'll ever do and I need this help. I know you'll understand.

Happy New Year

Well, I finished my first 3 treatments with Ixempra, and it has gone pretty well. My liver enzyme numbers are down, and I am definitely feeling a little relief from my protruding liver. Let's hope that my next set of scans, which should be in March, show some reduction in the size. The December scans were disappointing, showing growth in all the liver tumors, although one of the bone tumors had disappeared. I am down to 75 mcg of fentanyl, so in about 3 weeks, I should be off that stuff. My hair has not (yet?) fallen out on this drug, and I don't know whether to expect it to, given the reduced dose that I'm on. So far, so good.
We had a nice, quiet New Year's Eve. I expected to sleep through it but woke at around 11:30, so the three of us watched the ball drop starting at 11:59, and then went back to our regular programming....
Wishing everyone a happy, healthy, new year, and resolving to really live this year.