Thursday, January 29, 2009

Time for Hospicre

I know that it's almost a month since my last posting, but no news was good news. I know that this posting will sound a little abrupt, but frankly I am still in such a state of shock that I don't have time to make it pretty, or warm, or anything like that.
After a number of doctor meetings,it turns out that my liver is too fragile to go on with the chemo I had been doing or try another variant. So we decidided on chemo break. Currently my liver is failing and hospice has been called in, which we expect to start n the next few days.
This is, of course, hearbreaking for us, and there are things that could make these end weeks or days easier for all three of us. First, weeping on the phone or in person makes it so much harder. If you could get that out of your system beforehand, it is so much easier for us. When you weep, I can't help but do the same, and it takes all the energy out of me. Second, I have one of the best breast oncologists in the world who I trust implicitly. Please don't tell me about the miracle guy in South America, or the third world vitamin or herbs. I can't deal with that and won't.
Also, PLEASE PLEASE let Alix go through things her way. She hates being pitied and would prefer a simple hug. She, too, is having to go through very difficult emotions that she would prefer not to talk about at all.
We do want to see folks and I can see people in short intervals - 15-20 minutes -- Albert is keeping track of my calendar. Sorry if this sounds so demanding but this is the hardest process I'll ever do and I need this help. I know you'll understand.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amy, I am so sad, but yet, so proud of you. They don't make them like you anymore. A truly sweet, inspiring loving person. I got your contact info and I want to see you. I'll abide with your wishes to the best of my ability.

Love you!

Mauricio.

Anonymous said...

Hi Amy...your strength is what I feel and know...all smiles.

Love and Peace,

Jeri

Anonymous said...

HI Amy ,Alix and Albert
You are all in my thoughts (and have been all these months!). Thanks for great frank words. Can I bring some food by this week? a cassarole, cookies? I'll get in touch with Albert. Wishing you comfort and continued strength. Shalom, michele (and david) 917 204 4499 (call for anything!)

Unknown said...

Hi Amy,

I've been following your blog over the last few months, and sending positive energy in your direction. All our thoughts and prayers are with you, and I know that you'll draw upon your incredible strength, humor and independent spirit in the days and weeks ahead.

Love, Susan Scheer (Melissa Cabat's mom)

Anonymous said...

Hi Amy,

I feel sadden by your recent development, but again, your strength to persevere through this delicate time is remarkable. You are such an inspiration. And I am sooo happy for the short time I spent working for you. Although things did not quite go the way we wanted @ MetLife, I am a better person to have met you. Thanks for being the person you are! Keep strong for all of us as I know you can.

Anonymous said...

Courage and grace as you turn to face the tiger, Amy. We are keeping you all in our thoughts and prayers.
Love Marianna, Scott, Max & Aaron

Anonymous said...

Amy,

I know this will come as a surprise but in the time we spent working together you were always an inspiration to me. I don't have to tell you to be strong because I know you will be.

Scott C.

Anonymous said...

Amy,

God has blessed you with a wonderful sense of being and strength. I am sure that you have passed that to your daughter. I will pray for your peace and comfort. Keep it up.

anne s