Good day, sunshine...

Click here unless your network blocks youtube. We rested all weekend, and today was a good day! I had good news from Karen, she's coming home from Australia for my birthday in August, as will Lisa, and I bet it will be great. Charlie's coming over for dinner, Albert is feeling better, I think we know where we're going for our vacation, and all in all, a good good day.

Better

Got through Friday just fine, woke up this morning feeling rested and well. Legs feeling some pain but very tolerable, don't think I'll even need tylenol today. All in all, nothing to complain about. We're going to the green market today, which I always really enjoy, even though it's too early for the beautiful Jersey tomatoes I look forward to.



Down 25 lbs and people keep telling me how good I look. I know lots of women with cancer hate that -- they think, what, I looked worse with my own hair? and stuff like that -- but with me, it's because I was carrying around a lot of extra weight that looked awful. Part of my gaining the extra weight was because it was painful to walk more than a couple of blocks when I had the "stitch" that turned out to be the cancer in my liver. Anyhow, I don't mind it the way others do.

I got my new hat the other day, wore it yesterday for the first time. To me, it's funny & empowering, but you get lots of different looks from people...

More of the same

Had the same kind of day yesterday: nausea, vomiting. I had an appointment with Dr. Zisman because the nurses at Ruth's office don't like the look of the port -- it looks "angry" to them. It does look kind of bluish/reddish and is pretty sensitive to the touch, but I think the latter is because it's so close to the surface. Anyhow, Dr. Zisman thinks it's ok, is putting me on an antibiotic "just in case", and says we can move it if Ruth/Beth think we should. No f-in way. I'm not having an additional surgery unless it's taking cancer out or putting something cancer-killing in. If the port weren't working as well as it is -- blood comes out, chemo goes in -- then maybe. Otherwise, nope.

Felt horrible about missing work these two days; there are people I let down and although they are understanding, it's not how I like to treat them. I am going to switch the routine back to Wednesdays, and try to get the Zometa infusion on Thursdays, so that the worst of it is on the weekends.

Alix goes to camp today.

Yecch

Had chemo on Monday, and they included the Zometa again. I did pretty well Tuesday, started to feel fatigued & had some bone pain but managed through it with Tylenol. Last night the pain got worse, so I took a percocet & an ativan to help me sleep, and this morning was terrible. I vomited a couple of times early on, but thought I could telecommute. WRONG! had to drop off a conference call because of the vomiting -- even though it was on mute! slept most of the rest of today but I still feel weak and nauseated. Tried some tea earlier, hope to keep that down.

Yecch.

Two months since diagnosis

And this was the best week yet. Only took 1 percocet all week, had very little nausea, got tired easily but so what. Lisa was in this weekend and we got to spend some very good quality time together, mostly eating, but lots of talk. Tomorrow's infusion has the Zometa, which gave me flu like symptoms last time -- fever, chills, aches, etc. I'm going to take ibuprofen before I go in the morning.

Hard to believe it's only been two months. I have to make sure that I live each month and not just get through it, because I can't take them for granted. I've started a bucket list for trips I want to take, first up is Florida to see Mom & Buck. Next year, when Alix has some time off from school, I want to take her to California to see all the relatives out there. We will probably need a week to do that, and will need to get from LA to SF to see everyone. After that... well there are more places to go: Israel, France, Italy... one day at a time, right?

Doing OK

Don't want to jinx it, but I had chemo on Monday and today's Wednesday and I'm doing pretty well! No leg pain yet, appetite still ok, taste buds still on the fritz (can only taste pepper and bitter, everything else is just texture), energy level not too bad. I actually put in kind of a long day yesterday, left home at 7:30 and came home at 7, but I'm not too much the worse for wear.
Gotta get Alix ready for camp, she leaves a week from Friday...

R&R

This weekend I got my appetite back, and last night I slept soundly for 11 hours. I feel so much better! Chemo again tomorrow morning, and I decided not to go to our New Jersey offsite meeting this week. First, my team has too much on its plate coming up in the next couple of weeks, and second, being "up" and around people for days that long (8 to 8 or longer) is beyond me right now. It was a big relief when the subject came up & my boss was fine with my staying back to work on other stuff.

The two major sources of work/concern are Alix's sleepaway camp in 12 days and her bat mitzvah planning. I think I am finally done with the major stuff for camp... only real question mark is bathing suits, of which I think we only have 4. I know we bought one for her in NC but I have not a clue where it is. And we decided on the bat mitzvah venue, which was a major worry laid to rest. Next up is picking out invitations. I have had an offer of help with legwork from the other bar/bat mitzvah moms, which is greatly appreciated and gladly accepted.

The little things...

Must've caught a bug the other day -- I had some birthday ice cream cake Wednesday afternoon, got home from work about 7 and was dizzy and nauseated. Took a compazine and got into bed for a couple of hours, skipped dinner, and in the middle of the night, [insert various uncomfortable and umpleasant symptoms here]. Still felt very weak yesterday, couldn't even sit up for long periods of time, and I was only able to eat a couple of boiled eggs, some broth & crackers all day. On the other hand, I woke up this morning feeling like I can go to work. It looks like the little things that I used to be able to ride out have a bigger effect on my system now. I'm down about 23 lbs since diagnosis, another 5 more until Beth is happy with me.

I guess have to be more careful about what I eat but I didn't think Baskin Robbins would let me down!

Now that they're superstars, they'll forget the little people

I was very happy to see that both Albert's oncologist, Abe Chachoua, and my oncologist, Ruth Oratz, made it to this year's NY Magazine top doctors list. My radiation oncologist from last time around, Silvia Formenti, made it too - but she chairs rad onc at NYU, so you would hope she was on it! Of course, Albert now can't get through to Abe to get his PET/CT results from last week. Please keep all fingers/toes crossed for no new tumors. Update - Scan was clear! No new tumors for Albert!

I have been pretty successful treating the acne from last week with some prescription benzoyl peroxide and clindagel left over from Albert's reaction to steroids. So I don't feel quite as hideous as I did Friday and Saturday. Since this is my week off from chemo, I expect to feel pretty ok this week, less queasiness and weakness. The extreme heat is supposed to break tonight, so in general, tomorrow looks a lot brighter!

In a word

Acne.

Oh, and by the way, the picture? not me. From the wig catalog.

Checking in

Doing pretty well today. Friday and Saturday tend to be the hardest days, because of the leg pain and nausea. I did not need a compazine this morning (yay) but I can tell I will need the percocet later today. More importantly, I unveiled the new wig today. It's a little sassier than the dark brown ones I've been wearing the last couple of weeks. I got it in a light brown with ginger highlights, which are blonde in some lights and reddish in others. It's got more hair than the other ones, too, so it feels very full.

Got through yesterday's chemo (Abraxane & Avastin) just fine, no side effects like last week's from the Zometa. My hematocrit and hemoglobin numbers are starting to slip, so we're adding Repleva every other day, starting tonight. I also got a printout of the liver enzyme test results for Lactate Dehydrogenase (LD), Alkaline Phosphatase (ALP), Aspartate Aminotransferase (AST), and Alanine Aminotransferase (ALT). I graphed the results over the past 6 weeks or so. The dramatic change is in the LD, which for me acts like tumor markers do for other people who actually have tumor markers, which I don't. If that makes any sense.

Ruth also checked manually and says the liver is much softer, less bumpy, smaller than it was, and she said she's very happy with the progress so far. I will not have another set of scans for 3 months, except for an xray in a couple of days to rule in/out a met to the femur that may or may not have been on the ct scans. The radiologist said on the last report that the right femur met was stable, but there was no mention on the prior report. I wouldn't be tremendously surprised, since I have been aware of pain in the right hip socket. I have next week off from chemo, so I don't have treatment until the 17th. Woo HOO! plus, we're arranging to have an extra week chemo vacation in August so I can actually get away to rest. Need that big time, let me tell you.